Dear Edren & Eric or Esquared,

27May08

I’ve edited the novel. I control + C and control + P the whole shibang on a word document.  Edited some things out.  Fixed some spelling errors.  Made it flow.  Do you need me to upload the new versions or can I send you the manuscript in the word doc?

I’m working on the final chapters.  It’s tough, trying to get back in the groove of that style of writing.  In my head I had put the unfinished story to rest.  But in my imagination, the story has kept going.  I’m trying to reconcile that now.

I’ve told this to Edren over numerous smoke breaks.  This experience has been amazing.  When I first started I was in the middle of processing emotions, tragedies, and issues that I had kept bottled up inside.  Did you know that I couldn’t even talk about my mom’s stroke without crying still?  I never let any of those emotions go.  The writer’s workshop coincided with my first trip to therapy.  Those first three months were extermely cathartic and draining.  Expelling all those demons through the sound of my own voice in therapy and through writing in the first session was a tolling experience.

I can remember sitting, writing, and tears suddenly falling.  I didn’t want to face the reality that I was finally letting that pain go.  I had to, but I wouldn’t let myself do it.  I was caught up in the theory that if I let all that negative energry go, I would forget those expereinces ever happened.  It sounds ri-donk-u-lous, but the human mind wrapped in emotion is a tough present to unwrap.

When I reread what I penned down and what you’ve shared, I am flabbergasted.  I can’t believe I wrote thsoe words.  I can’t believe you’ve written your words.  I can’t believe I took that step.  I can’t believe I once said no.

This has been an amazing experience.  I thank both of you for it.

L

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