Dear P,

20May08

I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry that you feel hurt. But really…I don’t know what to say.

The honest truth is, I don’t want you to leave. No matter how upset you are with this city, I’d rather have you stay. That may be me being selfish, but I truly like having you around.

If you decide to make the move. I’ll save my pennies to visit you abroad. Save my pennies from my imaginary full time job that has yet to appear.

I want to tell you a secret. Can you keep a secret? The reason I don’t want you to leave, is I see myself in you. While I know you have gone through some horrible shit. I feel like I see my reflection in your anguish, in your sorrow, in your pain. It hurts. And all I want to do is give you a hug and tell you it’s going to be alright, but I stop myself from doing that because I know it isn’t going to work out that way.

And M may be right.  Perhaps I am your substitute girlfriend.  I am a girl.  I am your friend.  And I understand that emotion of feeling let down.  Everyone may have felt it at some point.  You just got stuck with a sucky amount of it.

Things will work out.  They always do.  Somehow. Someway.

Take care,

And I really mean that.  Not in a nonchalant, I’m simply ending this letter kind of way.

Really,

Take care,

L

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