dear childhood,

21Apr08

where did you go?

how did i get to that point where all i feel are aches and pains?

when did the comment, “you’re so old!” begin to apply to me?

i thought you would hang out for so much longer. i still want to play on the swing sets or climb on the jungle gyms or watch saturday morning cartoons.  but i can’t find it in myself to get up early enough to watch tv, my weak ankles and knees strike fear when i step on the silver bars of the monkey cages, and i’m out of breath thinking about kicking and pushing myself on a swing.

i see you in baby photos. i see you in junior high yearbooks. i see you in journal entries on blogger.

how did i get here?  sitting in a classroom in my final weeks of grad school, typing away at a letter to an inanimate point in time that will not reply.

i know my peter pan complex has held me back, but losing you, childhood, has made me incomplete.  worrying about how i’m going to pay rent, pay credit card bills, pay parking tickets causes more stress than necessary.

i’d rather get dirty and play in the sandbox.

oh childhood. i know you are left in the year of the 80s and for some in the year of the 70s, 60s, 50s, and even 40s, 30s, and 20s.  i’ll dream of tetherball matches and hopscotch games, four-square and handball, climbing up metal rockets and burning my skin on hot silver slides.

i’ll make sure to say hi when i see you in my nieces, nephews, and the children of friends.

at least i know you’re still around somewhere,

k.i.t,

mini me

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